| (no subject) |
[May. 5th, 2006|03:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | kelly clarkson | because of you | ] |
college screws with circadian rhythm. seriously. it's 3am and i'm wide awake.... but after finals are over, i guarantee i'll be drained/passed out for a good 3 days recovering from the massive bio rape-age.
2 finals down, 2 to go.
so ready for summer. minus the 5 hours of chemistry per day.
i feel like i haven't changed at all. i'm pretty sure college is about that personal growth thing, but i seriously feel like i'm just as immature as i was four years ago. and i've spent a whole year here! i'm almost done being a freshman in college.
ok. end of emotional post.
jack's mannequin with my other half in a month and..... 4 days. yay! san diego is way too far. i wish we weren't a billion and a half miles away. :(
life should stop being so confusing |
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| And i'm starting to feel it's right..... |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|10:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | shakira | hips don't lie | ] |
so i spent about two hours yesterday listening to various professors speaking about how happiness/joy is harder to achieve than we think. a lot of it was along the lines of "people are complex, so it takes more to make them really happy." you're telling me. i'm so confused. right now i feel complacent, but not joyous. is that okay? i feel like i want more, but i don't really know what, i guess. actually.... i know what i want, but i don't think i really want it because i don't know if its worth what i would be giving up. i think things should be easier. it should be happy or unhappy without all of these stupid in-between things. seriously. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|08:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | comforting lie :: no doubt | ] |
the lava lamp on my desk has to be the most distracting thing EV-ER. i know i should do homework... but it just keeps catching my eye and then i don't want to work anymore. i hate the way i have absolutely no discipline.
yay for thanksgiving! but i probably won't eat... because my dad said i looked like i've gained weight... :( yeah. i'm a fatty. ewwww |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|11:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
yay livejournal! so midterms are the bane of my existence. no, seriously. i thought college was supposed to make you smarter. but at least usc has amazing.. socials. my roommate and i and some of our parkside friends went to upstairs commons yesterday for the ho down... we have a cowboy theme for our coming out week? it's just really funny to see everyone dressed as really skanky cowboys. too bad there was this one girl that seriously thought she could dance... she was all trying to do pirouettes, but she looked a LOT like that one girl from dance chor that we all hated because she sucked. jackie? whatever.
so there's this midterm for american lit tomorrow. my teacher picked passages from the stuff we've read so far and we have to identify the author/poet, novel/poem, significance, and relevance to the overall theme. so we're all shocked and hes like "well we've only read 10 authors" yeah, too bad we've read at least like 3 texts from each author.
ewwwwww i have communications now |
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| the bravest thing of all is always hope |
[May. 4th, 2005|10:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
ap tests bite. i think they're trying to punish us for being smart. that or they're mocking us. i mean, honestly, we're paying $82 x however many tests we're taking just to take these stupid things that we dont even want to take in the first place. bah!
calc was hard, but spanish was harder. i think that's all i can say about them without breaking 2430555308970975 laws. then you might have to call the office of testing integrity on me.
may show's coming up. im fighting the urge to say "eww."
i swear i'm not in a horrid mood, im just really tired and sickish. ok.. end of random update. night! |
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| i'm melting into you |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|09:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cranky | ] |
so i've narrowed it down to usc and berkeley. i used to be for sure usc, but then i went to visit cal and it was just amaaaaaazing. seriously. ahhhhh i don't know.
so i finally opened a gov prep book. you know... it looks surprisingly like my lecture notes from that class. coincidence? i think not.... yeah... that class... no comment. but viv and karen say the test isn't too hard, so hopefully i'll be ok, right?
so the dance chor show is in less than a month and we've barely started on anything! i still need to start choreographing my solo. i finally picked a song. "breathe" by faith hill... i think it's the sixth song ive picked? yeah... haha. how are we going to be ready for the show???? i'm worried. so we had rehearsal for blackbird today. i'm upset that it's such a typical... alpha group dance, but i'm more upset that i auditioned for it when i knew that it would most likely turn out that way. stupid, stupid melissa.
yay for updates. spanish test tomorrow. late start on thursday. bowling with brett and ian on friday? morris's birthday deal on saturday. weee! |
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| i could lie awake just to hear you breathing |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|07:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
i just got my wisdom teeth yanked. my face hurts. on the bright side, nothing but ice cream for a week or so. yessssss.
college decisions. i think i've narrowed it down to usc, ucla or cal.
usc
pros: small school. pretty. amazing football team. and i liked the explore usc thing.
cons: its in the ghetto. and possibly too close to homeand i dont have 80 billion dollars to spend on tuition and books and room and board and what not.
ucla
pros: it's actually in a nice part of town. i've wanted to go there for a while. obviously it's a good school, and its affordable.
cons: too close to home. too many canyon people will probably go. big classes
berkeley
pros: still in california, but far enough away from home. i think it's the most prestigious of the three? i dont know... but that's a big deal for my parents
cons: is it too far from home? and its quite liberal... not that i have a problem with that. and its big, so the classes will probably be huge.
decisions, decisions. i don't really want to go to any of the other schools because theyre either too close to home or too far (east coast and whatnot). and as much as i want to go away to school, id probably get a little homesick. i don't know. |
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| i just fail to understand... |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|08:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | maroon 5- woman | ] |
okay, i swore to myself i would stop doing this, but....
March 31, 2005
Dear Melissa,
On behalf of the University community, it is my honor to offer you admission to Berkeley! Your application has been approved for the fall semester 2005. Given the record number and extraordinary quality of applicants this year, we hope that you will consider your admission a great accomplishment. You and your family have every reason to be proud of your academic and personal achievements.
Berkeley offers a learning atmosphere full of possibilities that you will not find anywhere else. Our long-standing reputation for academic excellence and scientific innovation, along with a campus tradition of social and political involvement, has attracted a world-renowned faculty and one of the most talented and diverse student bodies in the nation.
Now we invite you to explore this website, which contains valuable information that you will need to accept our offer of admission. You will not be receiving future mailings containing this information —you must visit the "Checklist" page (tab above) and complete the items indicated. We also invite you to have a first-hand look at Berkeley by attending Cal Day on April 16th in addition to one of the gatherings in your area. Please visit our "Events" page (tab above) for specific information. If you need help accessing information, or would like to speak with an admissions officer, please call (510) 642-3175.
Again, congratulations! We hope that you will choose to join us and make Berkeley’s vast opportunities your own. There is truly no place like Berkeley. Anywhere.
Sincerely,
Walter A. Robinson
Director
P.S. You will be receiving your "official" letter and an admission certificate in the mail shortly.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! |
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| you say you don't know |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|04:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jimmy eat world- for me this is heaven | ] |
okay... so far...
 
USC UC Berkeley (march 31)
UCLA Northwestern (march 25)
UCSD (marshall) NYU (?)
UCI U of Chicago (?)
CSUF Columbia (first week of april)
ahhhhhhh... i am such a nutcase right now. why does it take so long to review stinking applications???? and i realized that not applying for scholarships is one of the worst ideas i have ever had in my entire life. and thats really saying something, trust me. usc- about 42k per year. ucla- about 23k per year. yeahhhhh...
calc is absolutely horrid. i hate the way i feel stupider every single time i walk out of that class. seriously, those practice ap tests do nothing but shove my self esteem further and further into the ground. and the fact that i opted out of about 5 homework assignments isn't helping my grade too much, either. freaking a... i wish i was one of those smart asians.
dance chor pictures tomorrow! i think i will wear the white dance chor tank top and jeans for individual pictures? i sound really shallow right now, but i think i can live with that. oh! so may show dances
-cell block
-blackbird
-doug's hip hop
-solo (still don't know the song, but i'm thinking "look at me")
i kinda wanted to audition for joey's ballet, but then i was like "hey, wait... i don't do ballet." same with the lyrical... they're both really pretty, but i don't really do them. so yes... |
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| in your eyes i lost my place |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|06:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | anberlin- never take friendship personal | ] |
so far...
Melissa got into
UCI
UCLA
USC
Melissa is still waiting to hear from everyone else. AHHHHHHHHH! |
|
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| all my life i prayed for someone like you |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|10:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | something corporate- as you sleep | ] |
winter formal was amaaaaazing. it was freezing cold, and i have blisters and welts from my heels, and my strapless dress kept slipping down, but it was so prefect. <3 that's right... my white boy can dance. :)
wish me luck for tomorrow and tuesday. both would be good.
sadies is coming up. i need a cute way to ask someone (please, as if you don't know who i'm asking) |
|
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| can't quite remember ever feeling so small |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|08:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the ataris- takeoffs and landings | ] |
i'm so confused right now... i think i set my expectations too high. is it wrong for me to want to be loved and adored and respected and trusted and... i could go on forever. i feel inadequate. every time i'm with you i feel like i'm never smart or pretty or funny or exciting or interesting enough... am i even important to you anymore? and if so, why do you treat me like i'm some inanimate object? i'm not made of stone, you know; i can't just sit back and take your neglect. :(
"we all search for love, but some of us, once we've found it, wish we hadn't" |
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| stars may collide |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | thrice | ] |
today has been incredibly weird. i think i still don't get it... but i think that's ok. spending large amounts of time with brett (and today was... 5 hours) always makes me think.
tomorrow=3. does that seem weird for anyone else? |
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| you've got me upside down |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|07:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
it's begun.
i'm in.
i really don't like feeling this way. it's really hard when i feel like i have to set aside time for you and sacrifice homework and sleep and time with my friends (don't get me wrong, i love seeing you), but it's perfectly okay for you to choose a movie over me. and it's not even like this is the first time; nor will it be the last. i can't stand this...
i think i'm getting disgustingly emo. eww.
ANAHEIM SHOW TOMORROW. BE THERE. |
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| let's delay our misery |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|02:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | yellowcard- drifting | ] |
WHY seems to be the question of the day.
i think i might have gotten in over my head. yes? |
|
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| take me away to paradise |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|11:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | clay aiken- the way | ] |
so i could study for calc. or do this. yeahh....
The Perfect Guy Survey-
1. hair color -- hmm... natural hair color is best. i like blondish?
2. eye color -- blue is nice
3. height -- taller than i am. preferably 5'10" or taller?
4. six pack -- sure? haha... or he could be like jay and have a 5 billion pack
5. long or short hair -- longish short hair, but still clean cut
6. glasses -- i think i'd prefer contacts. but glasses work on some people
7. piercings -- no
8. scars -- i agree with cassy: some scars are hot.
9. eyebrows -- yes (duh?)
10. big butt or little -- just a nice one
11. chest hair -- no. ewww...
12. buff or skinny -- something in between
13. straight teeth, gap -- straight teeth
14. funny or serious -- both, depending on the situation
15. party or stay at home -- both
16. should he cook or bake -- umm... i guess cooking is fine, but baking would scare me
17. should he have a best friend -- sure, but it'll probably make me jealous (reguardless of the gender)
18. should he have a lotta girlfriends -- no. not even girl [space] friends
19. outgoing or shy -- outgoing
20. sarcastic or sincere -- sincere, but sarcastic enough to put up with me. ok, that's not very sincere... so... quasi-sarcastic, but definitely more sincere
21. should he love his mother -- yes
22. should he watch chick flicks -- no
23. would he be a smoker -- no
24. would he drink -- no
25. would he swear -- most guys do. but... perfect guy wouldn't swear ften
26. would he play with your hair -- of course
27. one or more girls at a time -- absolutely not
28. would he pay for dates -- not always, but he would always assume he's paying. does that make sense?
29. does he kiss on the first date -- mmm... no.
30. where would you go to dinner -- somewhere classy, but not overly nice
31. would he bring you flowers -- yes
32. would he lay under the stars with you -- most definitely
33. would he write poetry about you -- no. only dale gets to do that <3
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby -- not all the time
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends -- yes
36. you hang out with him and HIS friends -- yes
37. will he walk you to the door at the end of your date -- yes
38. holding hands -- always
39. soccer -- sure
40. baseball -- nah
41. basketball -- i guess
42. football -- kind of, but not religiously. actually, no sport religiously
43. water polo -- except maybe this one
44. surf -- yes
45. skateboard -- noooo
46. snowboard -- yes
47. sing -- yes
48. play guitar -- sure
49. play piano -- maybe
50. play drums -- no
51. clean his room -- yes
52. paint, draw, sculpt -- not a requirement
53. writes his own music -- sure
54. use the word dude -- no
55. would he watch the sunrise with you-- sure
56. how old is he -- not more than 3 years older. and not younger.
that's what we call wasting melissa's time. ahhh calc test tomorrow. ahhhh...
and what's this i hear about the black and white dance being cancelled? awww... :( |
|
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| at last |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|05:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | green day- when i come around | ] |
who else thinks this has been a ridiculously long week? only four days and we still managed to have projects and papers and tests and homework and we still haven't gotten to our finals starting next... wednesday? thank goodness for late start.
wino is a complete moron. he calls our ap spanish projects a waste of time, yet somehow manages to find hours on end to edit his own (fascinating and riveting!!!) hiking/fishing videos and make us suffer through them on the morning announcements. so you figure about two or three minutes every morning, times five mornings a week, times the amount of weeks we're in school, times four years. yeah... i can really see how we're the ones wasting time.
i love the way stupid people cheat off each other. sorry to break it to you, but collaborating with others with sub-standard iqs doesn't magically exponentialize your chances of getting a good grade. nice try, though. honestly, the amount of cheating really disgusts me. and if you're relying on that to pass a class, i sincerely hope you get screwed over. a lot.
again... this has been a long week. on the other hand, today is friday and i don't have to work too much this weekend (yay!) and it looks like i'm going to winter formal... :) |
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| i'll hang from your lips |
[Jan. 8th, 2005|10:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | scared | ] |
tell me i'm crazy. tell me that i'm overreacting and overanalyzing and my over-active imagination is beyond being in high gear. please dispell my fears and doubts and shake some sense into me. tell me there was a logical explanation for what just happened and i have no reason to doubt you. im begging you to reassure me... remind me of your commitment and your... feelings? why am i so insecure that i let one incident (blown out of proportion in my mind) rock my faith in you? even worse, why cant i ask you what happened? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
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| diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|09:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the goo goo dolls- iris | ] |
first week back is almost over. i would say i can't wait until the weekend, but i'm working a mid on saturday, and til 10 or so on sunday. say it with me now: yessssssss.
i don't understand some people. first he says we don't spend enough time together, then passes up the opportunity when it arises. somewhat contradictory, no? but then again this is probably me looking too far into things... as usual. still, is it wrong for me to be upset when this happens? if i don't spend time with a person when we're busy, logically i'd like to do it when we're free, right? i would also think he would feel the same way, especially when he complains that we don't see each other enough, but his actions have proven otherwise. it's ok.. i don't really understand that either.
winter formal is coming up. i want to go. does anyone know what this black and white dance is? or why we have it? or when it is? and is it strictly canyon students? hmm.
la la la.. no work tomorrow! melissa's going to srhi. yesssssss |
|
|
| another year has gone by |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|09:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mellow | ] |
happy new years everyone! i completely forgot to do the requisite end of 2004/start of 2005 post, so i guess this will just have to suffice.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFIE!!!!!!!!
friday night we went to chevy's to celebrate his 18th. much fun. pictures on dale's site. then i went to see my boy :) new years was quite good. and... memorable. hopefully it will be a good omen and the rest of the year will be as marvelous as two nights ago.
school tomorrow. two weeks off has wreaked havoc on my circadian rhythym, and of course this is when mrs preciado decides to mark tardies. curses! still have to finish (actually start) my 3 page siddhartha essay. and finish frankenstein. and two more college apps. yessssssssss.
ok, heres the sexy survey from joanna:
***KISSES***
on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands or fingers.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair. (does wavy count?)
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
smaller/shorter than me.
bigger/taller than me.
with a lip ring.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual. (some havent realized it yet)
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band.
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
eskimo style. |
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