This chance won't come again

x_sweet__misery @ 2006-05-05T03:00:00

2006-05-05T10:03:42Z

college screws with circadian rhythm. seriously. it's 3am and i'm wide awake.... but after finals are over, i guarantee i'll be drained/passed out for a good 3 days recovering from the massive bio rape-age.

2 finals down, 2 to go.

so ready for summer. minus the 5 hours of chemistry per day.

i feel like i haven't changed at all. i'm pretty sure college is about that personal growth thing, but i seriously feel like i'm just as immature as i was four years ago. and i've spent a whole year here! i'm almost done being a freshman in college.

ok. end of emotional post.

jack's mannequin with my other half in a month and..... 4 days. yay! san diego is way too far. i wish we weren't a billion and a half miles away. :(

life should stop being so confusing

And i'm starting to feel it's right.....

2006-04-18T17:50:48Z

so i spent about two hours yesterday listening to various professors speaking about how happiness/joy is harder to achieve than we think. a lot of it was along the lines of "people are complex, so it takes more to make them really happy." you're telling me. i'm so confused. right now i feel complacent, but not joyous. is that okay? i feel like i want more, but i don't really know what, i guess. actually.... i know what i want, but i don't think i really want it because i don't know if its worth what i would be giving up. i think things should be easier. it should be happy or unhappy without all of these stupid in-between things. seriously.

x_sweet__misery @ 2005-11-21T20:47:00

2005-11-22T04:47:14Z

the lava lamp on my desk has to be the most distracting thing EV-ER. i know i should do homework... but it just keeps catching my eye and then i don't want to work anymore. i hate the way i have absolutely no discipline.

yay for thanksgiving! but i probably won't eat... because my dad said i looked like i've gained weight... :( yeah. i'm a fatty. ewwww

x_sweet__misery @ 2005-10-13T11:36:00

2005-10-13T18:47:29Z

yay livejournal! so midterms are the bane of my existence. no, seriously. i thought college was supposed to make you smarter. but at least usc has amazing.. socials. my roommate and i and some of our parkside friends went to upstairs commons yesterday for the ho down... we have a cowboy theme for our coming out week? it's just really funny to see everyone dressed as really skanky cowboys. too bad there was this one girl that seriously thought she could dance... she was all trying to do pirouettes, but she looked a LOT like that one girl from dance chor that we all hated because she sucked. jackie? whatever.

so there's this midterm for american lit tomorrow. my teacher picked passages from the stuff we've read so far and we have to identify the author/poet, novel/poem, significance, and relevance to the overall theme. so we're all shocked and hes like "well we've only read 10 authors" yeah, too bad we've read at least like 3 texts from each author.

ewwwwww i have communications now

the bravest thing of all is always hope

2005-05-05T05:11:57Z

ap tests bite. i think they're trying to punish us for being smart. that or they're mocking us. i mean, honestly, we're paying $82 x however many tests we're taking just to take these stupid things that we dont even want to take in the first place. bah!

calc was hard, but spanish was harder. i think that's all i can say about them without breaking 2430555308970975 laws. then you might have to call the office of testing integrity on me.

may show's coming up. im fighting the urge to say "eww."

i swear i'm not in a horrid mood, im just really tired and sickish. ok.. end of random update. night!

i'm melting into you

2005-04-20T04:33:06Z

so i've narrowed it down to usc and berkeley. i used to be for sure usc, but then i went to visit cal and it was just amaaaaaazing. seriously. ahhhhh i don't know.

so i finally opened a gov prep book. you know... it looks surprisingly like my lecture notes from that class. coincidence? i think not.... yeah... that class... no comment. but viv and karen say the test isn't too hard, so hopefully i'll be ok, right?

so the dance chor show is in less than a month and we've barely started on anything! i still need to start choreographing my solo. i finally picked a song. "breathe" by faith hill... i think it's the sixth song ive picked? yeah... haha. how are we going to be ready for the show???? i'm worried. so we had rehearsal for blackbird today. i'm upset that it's such a typical... alpha group dance, but i'm more upset that i auditioned for it when i knew that it would most likely turn out that way. stupid, stupid melissa.

yay for updates. spanish test tomorrow. late start on thursday. bowling with brett and ian on friday? morris's birthday deal on saturday. weee!

i could lie awake just to hear you breathing

2005-04-05T02:27:50Z

i just got my wisdom teeth yanked. my face hurts. on the bright side, nothing but ice cream for a week or so. yessssss.

college decisions. i think i've narrowed it down to usc, ucla or cal.

usc
pros: small school. pretty. amazing football team. and i liked the explore usc thing.
cons: its in the ghetto. and possibly too close to homeand i dont have 80 billion dollars to spend on tuition and books and room and board and what not.

ucla
pros: it's actually in a nice part of town. i've wanted to go there for a while. obviously it's a good school, and its affordable.
cons: too close to home. too many canyon people will probably go. big classes

berkeley
pros: still in california, but far enough away from home. i think it's the most prestigious of the three? i dont know... but that's a big deal for my parents
cons: is it too far from home? and its quite liberal... not that i have a problem with that. and its big, so the classes will probably be huge.

decisions, decisions. i don't really want to go to any of the other schools because theyre either too close to home or too far (east coast and whatnot). and as much as i want to go away to school, id probably get a little homesick. i don't know.

i just fail to understand...

2005-04-01T04:54:24Z

okay, i swore to myself i would stop doing this, but....

March 31, 2005

Dear Melissa,

On behalf of the University community, it is my honor to offer you admission to Berkeley! Your application has been approved for the fall semester 2005. Given the record number and extraordinary quality of applicants this year, we hope that you will consider your admission a great accomplishment. You and your family have every reason to be proud of your academic and personal achievements.

Berkeley offers a learning atmosphere full of possibilities that you will not find anywhere else. Our long-standing reputation for academic excellence and scientific innovation, along with a campus tradition of social and political involvement, has attracted a world-renowned faculty and one of the most talented and diverse student bodies in the nation.

Now we invite you to explore this website, which contains valuable information that you will need to accept our offer of admission. You will not be receiving future mailings containing this information —you must visit the "Checklist" page (tab above) and complete the items indicated. We also invite you to have a first-hand look at Berkeley by attending Cal Day on April 16th in addition to one of the gatherings in your area. Please visit our "Events" page (tab above) for specific information. If you need help accessing information, or would like to speak with an admissions officer, please call (510) 642-3175.

Again, congratulations! We hope that you will choose to join us and make Berkeley’s vast opportunities your own. There is truly no place like Berkeley. Anywhere.

Sincerely,

Walter A. Robinson
Director

P.S. You will be receiving your "official" letter and an admission certificate in the mail shortly.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

you say you don't know

2005-03-24T01:15:49Z

okay... so far...

USC                           UC Berkeley (march 31)
UCLA                         Northwestern (march 25)
UCSD (marshall)         NYU (?)
UCI                            U of Chicago (?)
CSUF                         Columbia (first week of april)

ahhhhhhh... i am such a nutcase right now. why does it take so long to review stinking applications???? and i realized that not applying for scholarships is one of the worst ideas i have ever had in my entire life. and thats really saying something, trust me. usc- about 42k per year. ucla- about 23k per year. yeahhhhh...

calc is absolutely horrid. i hate the way i feel stupider every single time i walk out of that class. seriously, those practice ap tests do nothing but shove my self esteem further and further into the ground. and the fact that i opted out of about 5 homework assignments isn't helping my grade too much, either. freaking a... i wish i was one of those smart asians.

dance chor pictures tomorrow! i think i will wear the white dance chor tank top and jeans for individual pictures? i sound really shallow right now, but i think i can live with that. oh! so may show dances
-cell block
-blackbird
-doug's hip hop
-solo (still don't know the song, but i'm thinking "look at me")
i kinda wanted to audition for joey's ballet, but then i was like "hey, wait... i don't do ballet." same with the lyrical... they're both really pretty, but i don't really do them. so yes...

in your eyes i lost my place

2005-03-14T02:21:04Z

so far...

Melissa got into

UCI
UCLA
USC

Melissa is still waiting to hear from everyone else. AHHHHHHHHH!

all my life i prayed for someone like you

2005-02-28T07:09:08Z

winter formal was amaaaaazing. it was freezing cold, and i have blisters and welts from my heels, and my strapless dress kept slipping down, but it was so prefect. <3 that's right... my white boy can dance. :)

wish me luck for tomorrow and tuesday. both would be good.

sadies is coming up. i need a cute way to ask someone (please, as if you don't know who i'm asking)

can't quite remember ever feeling so small

2005-02-14T04:58:37Z

i'm so confused right now... i think i set my expectations too high. is it wrong for me to want to be loved and adored and respected and trusted and... i could go on forever. i feel inadequate. every time i'm with you i feel like i'm never smart or pretty or funny or exciting or interesting enough... am i even important to you anymore? and if so, why do you treat me like i'm some inanimate object? i'm not made of stone, you know; i can't just sit back and take your neglect. :(

"we all search for love, but some of us, once we've found it, wish we hadn't"

stars may collide

2005-02-10T06:38:41Z

today has been incredibly weird. i think i still don't get it... but i think that's ok. spending large amounts of time with brett (and today was... 5 hours) always makes me think.

tomorrow=3. does that seem weird for anyone else?

you've got me upside down

2005-02-04T03:18:17Z

it's begun.

i'm in.

i really don't like feeling this way. it's really hard when i feel like i have to set aside time for you and sacrifice homework and sleep and time with my friends (don't get me wrong, i love seeing you), but it's perfectly okay for you to choose a movie over me. and it's not even like this is the first time; nor will it be the last. i can't stand this...

i think i'm getting disgustingly emo. eww.

ANAHEIM SHOW TOMORROW. BE THERE.

let's delay our misery

2005-01-31T22:50:41Z

WHY seems to be the question of the day.

i think i might have gotten in over my head. yes?

take me away to paradise

2005-01-27T07:51:06Z

so i could study for calc. or do this. yeahh....

The Perfect Guy Survey-

1. hair color -- hmm... natural hair color is best. i like blondish?
2. eye color -- blue is nice
3. height -- taller than i am. preferably 5'10" or taller?
4. six pack -- sure? haha... or he could be like jay and have a 5 billion pack
5. long or short hair -- longish short hair, but still clean cut
6. glasses -- i think i'd prefer contacts. but glasses work on some people
7. piercings -- no
8. scars -- i agree with cassy: some scars are hot.
9. eyebrows -- yes (duh?)
10. big butt or little -- just a nice one
11. chest hair -- no. ewww...
12. buff or skinny -- something in between
13. straight teeth, gap -- straight teeth
14. funny or serious -- both, depending on the situation
15. party or stay at home -- both
16. should he cook or bake -- umm... i guess cooking is fine, but baking would scare me
17. should he have a best friend -- sure, but it'll probably make me jealous (reguardless of the gender)
18. should he have a lotta girlfriends -- no. not even girl [space] friends
19. outgoing or shy -- outgoing
20. sarcastic or sincere -- sincere, but sarcastic enough to put up with me. ok, that's not very sincere... so... quasi-sarcastic, but definitely more sincere
21. should he love his mother -- yes
22. should he watch chick flicks -- no
23. would he be a smoker -- no
24. would he drink -- no
25. would he swear -- most guys do. but... perfect guy wouldn't swear ften
26. would he play with your hair -- of course
27. one or more girls at a time -- absolutely not
28. would he pay for dates -- not always, but he would always assume he's paying. does that make sense?
29. does he kiss on the first date -- mmm... no.
30. where would you go to dinner -- somewhere classy, but not overly nice
31. would he bring you flowers -- yes
32. would he lay under the stars with you -- most definitely
33. would he write poetry about you -- no. only dale gets to do that <3
34. would he call you hunny, sweetie, or baby -- not all the time
35. would he hang out with you and YOUR friends -- yes
36. you hang out with him and HIS friends -- yes
37. will he walk you to the door at the end of your date -- yes
38. holding hands -- always
39. soccer -- sure
40. baseball -- nah
41. basketball -- i guess
42. football -- kind of, but not religiously. actually, no sport religiously
43. water polo -- except maybe this one
44. surf -- yes
45. skateboard -- noooo
46. snowboard -- yes
47. sing -- yes
48. play guitar -- sure
49. play piano -- maybe
50. play drums -- no
51. clean his room -- yes
52. paint, draw, sculpt -- not a requirement
53. writes his own music -- sure
54. use the word dude -- no
55. would he watch the sunrise with you-- sure
56. how old is he -- not more than 3 years older. and not younger.

that's what we call wasting melissa's time. ahhh calc test tomorrow. ahhhh...

and what's this i hear about the black and white dance being cancelled? awww... :(

at last

2005-01-22T01:41:06Z

who else thinks this has been a ridiculously long week? only four days and we still managed to have projects and papers and tests and homework and we still haven't gotten to our finals starting next... wednesday? thank goodness for late start.

wino is a complete moron. he calls our ap spanish projects a waste of time, yet somehow manages to find hours on end to edit his own (fascinating and riveting!!!) hiking/fishing videos and make us suffer through them on the morning announcements. so you figure about two or three minutes every morning, times five mornings a week, times the amount of weeks we're in school, times four years. yeah... i can really see how we're the ones wasting time.

i love the way stupid people cheat off each other. sorry to break it to you, but collaborating with others with sub-standard iqs doesn't magically exponentialize your chances of getting a good grade. nice try, though. honestly, the amount of cheating really disgusts me. and if you're relying on that to pass a class, i sincerely hope you get screwed over. a lot.

again... this has been a long week. on the other hand, today is friday and i don't have to work too much this weekend (yay!) and it looks like i'm going to winter formal... :)

i'll hang from your lips

2005-01-09T06:26:03Z

tell me i'm crazy. tell me that i'm overreacting and overanalyzing and my over-active imagination is beyond being in high gear. please dispell my fears and doubts and shake some sense into me. tell me there was a logical explanation for what just happened and i have no reason to doubt you. im begging you to reassure me... remind me of your commitment and your... feelings? why am i so insecure that i let one incident (blown out of proportion in my mind) rock my faith in you? even worse, why cant i ask you what happened? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble

2005-01-07T05:42:07Z

first week back is almost over. i would say i can't wait until the weekend, but i'm working a mid on saturday, and til 10 or so on sunday. say it with me now: yessssssss.

i don't understand some people. first he says we don't spend enough time together, then passes up the opportunity when it arises. somewhat contradictory, no? but then again this is probably me looking too far into things... as usual. still, is it wrong for me to be upset when this happens? if i don't spend time with a person when we're busy, logically i'd like to do it when we're free, right? i would also think he would feel the same way, especially when he complains that we don't see each other enough, but his actions have proven otherwise. it's ok.. i don't really understand that either.

winter formal is coming up. i want to go. does anyone know what this black and white dance is? or why we have it? or when it is? and is it strictly canyon students? hmm.

la la la.. no work tomorrow! melissa's going to srhi. yesssssss

another year has gone by

2005-01-03T05:54:58Z

happy new years everyone! i completely forgot to do the requisite end of 2004/start of 2005 post, so i guess this will just have to suffice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFIE!!!!!!!!

friday night we went to chevy's to celebrate his 18th. much fun. pictures on dale's site. then i went to see my boy :) new years was quite good. and... memorable. hopefully it will be a good omen and the rest of the year will be as marvelous as two nights ago.

school tomorrow. two weeks off has wreaked havoc on my circadian rhythym, and of course this is when mrs preciado decides to mark tardies. curses! still have to finish (actually start) my 3 page siddhartha essay. and finish frankenstein. and two more college apps. yessssssssss.

ok, heres the sexy survey from joanna:

***KISSES***

on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands or fingers.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair. (does wavy count?)
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
smaller/shorter than me.
bigger/taller than me.
with a lip ring.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual. (some havent realized it yet)
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band.
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
eskimo style.

my heart is learning

2004-12-27T07:33:49Z

okay, okay, i know what you're thinking. not another survey?!??! yeah, yeah...

1. NERVOUS HABITS? i bite/chew on my bottom lip or i'll drum my fingers on something. or babble incoherently until someone stops me

2. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? my fingers are. see?

3. CAN YOU ROLL YOUR TONGUE? yep. im thuper-talented like that

4. CAN YOU RAISE ONE EYEBROW AT A TIME? chunk yeah. again with my amazing abilities

5. CAN YOU CROSS YOUR EYES? haha no... remember those books everyone had in first grade? where you crossed your eyes and saw the picture? yeah, i could never do those, so i would look at it and be like, "oh! yeah, i totally see it!" what a loser....

6. TATOOS? never

7. PIERCINGS AND WHERE? yes, one in each ear

8. DO YOU MAKE YOUR BED DAILY? not a chance

9. WHICH SHOE GOES ON FIRST? the one thats closest to my foot

10. SPEAKING OF SHOES, HAVE YOU EVER THROWN ONE AT SOMEONE? psh... yeah. haha. and it's happened quite often...

11. ON THE AVERAGE, HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU USUALLY CARRY IN YOUR WALLET? probably between 20 and 30

12. WHAT JEWELRY DO YOU WEAR 24/7? my earings. but that's only because i'm too lazy to take them out and put them in every morning

13. FAVORITE PIECE OF CLOTHING? pajama bottoms.

- FOOD -

14. DO YOU TWIRL YOUR SPAGHETTI OR CUT IT? twirl... what kind of freak cuts their spaghetti?

15. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN SPAM? no. something about fake canned meat just doesn't sound all that appetizing to me

16. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? pineapple, hands down

17. HOW MANY CEREALS ARE IN YOUR CABINET? as far as i know, we don't have any cereal in our cabinet

18. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BEVERAGE? freckeled lemonade from red robin

19. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT? hmm. i like red robin a lot. and olive garden. and bjs.

20. DO YOU COOK? do i have a microwave?

- GROOMING -

21. HOW OFTEN DO YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH? at least 2 times a day

22. HAIR DRYING METHOD? wrap hair in a towel... go to sleep.. and voila! mostly-dry hair by morning

23. HAVE YOU EVER COLORED/HIGHLIGHTED YOUR HAIR? i tried the semi-permanent dye sophmore year, i think, but my hair was too dark. which is probably a blessing in disguise because my dad would have killed me if he found out i dyed my hair purple.

24. DO YOU SWEAR? nope

25. DO YOU EVER SPIT AT PEOPLE? no! you know that scene in mulan? when she tries to spit and ends up looking like a complete idiot in front of the cute asian guy? yeah thats the reason i have never tried to spit...

- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE -

26. ANIMAL? tigers and dogs? penguins are cool too

27. FOOD? gummi bears. and nien gao.

28. MONTH? it's no longer december. january, i think, then.

29. DAY? friday or saturday

30. CARTOON? probably inuyasha!!!! awww... i miss watching anime with nemo

31. SHOE BRAND? i dont have one.

32. SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? gov

33. COLOR? red

34. SPORT? DANCE!!!

35. TV SHOW? i dont know!!!! recently i like desperate housewives... haha that show is so funny!

36. THING TO DO IN THE SPRING? slack off

37. THING TO DO IN THE SUMMER? spend all day with friends and not worry about homework

38. THING TO DO IN THE FALL? watch leaves change color.

39. THING TO DO IN THE WINTER? be warm (cough.. cuddle? <3).

- IN AND AROUND -

40. THE RECORD PLAYER? in my car is all american rejects and the one in my computer is the beethoven cd from travis

41. PERSON YOU TALK MOST ON THE PHONE WITH? probably ian

42. EVER TAKEN A CAB? yep. only once, i think, when i was somewhere on vacation with my family. i think we were at a mission?

43. DO YOU REGUARLY CHECK YOURSELF OUT IN STORE MIRRORS/WINDOWS? i do... it's one of the post-ballerina symptoms.

44. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BEDROOM? it's this really pale yellow color. i don't really know why. the fidm lady said staring at yellow for too long makes people angry. hmmmmmmmm

45. DO YOU USE YOUR ALARM CLOCK? i would love to, but it doesn't work.

46. WINDOW SEAT OR AISLE? aisle

47. WHAT'S YOUR SLEEPING POSITION? fetal position. like a cat

48. EVEN IN HOT WEATHER DO YOU USE A BLANKET? yes... blanket-less-ness makes me feel naked

49. DO YOU SNORE? no, but i talk in my sleep

50. DO YOU SLEEPWALK? no

51. DO YOU TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? haha yes

52. DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS? yep

53. HOW ABOUT WITH A LIGHT ON? no

54. DO YOU FALL ASLEEP WITH TV ON OR RADIO? not usually

i guess some people just have tragedy in their blood....

pssst... new sn. Sw3etKatastroph3

i'm reading what is quickly becoming my favorite book....

"Eternity, we were part of it. As if to celebrate our joy, stars streaked across the sky--'There!' 'There!' 'There!' it was the Perseid meteor shower, a billion-year celestial event put on annually by the universe. It was also our proof that we had lain here before, when he was the vaquero and I the Mutsun maid, lovers who believed their passion was strong enough to survive scandal, pure enough to bind them into the next lifetime, two hundred years from now

We are they now, in love, in awe."

ahhhh what i wouldn't give to be inspired to write... but sadly both my muse and my wit have deserted me in this time of need. curse the literary dieties that turn their backs on me when i desperately need to write my personal statements!!!!

i closed on Christmas eve! that was an interesting experience. i hope everyone's Christmas went well. :) new year's is quickly approaching.

tomorrow is monday. that means tuesday isn't too far away!

i'm falling into memories of you

2004-12-23T08:04:58Z

fyi: one five minute conversation is not a sufficient replacement for three months of silence.

so i had dinner with ian's parents last night. is it wrong for me to want them to adopt me? they're awesome. missouri is very far away. this is going to be a looooong week.

it's hard to believe that we're already halfway through the first week of break. i think i should feel more stress over my unfinished college apps and my un-begun homework. yeahhhh... not yet.

movies i want like no other:
italian job (original)
italian job (remake)
princess bride

movies i want to see:
kill bill vol 2
phantom
bewitched
blade
blade 2
blade trinity

hint... hint...

he brings me pearls and white gold stolen from the sea

2004-12-21T09:16:37Z

^i forgot what lyrics those are. but they fit. :) jewelry is nice :)

im going to do that thing where i post another survey. i promise i'll grow out of this desire to fill out surveys for my livejournal any day now... yeahhhh. but i promise i'll write something meaningful afterwards!

1) Using band names, spell out your name.
Matchbox 20
Eminem (i know, he isn't a band)
Lostprophets
Interpol
Sugarcult
Switchfoot
Audio adrenaline

2) Have you ever had a song written about you? yes

3) What song makes you cry? someday by nickelback

4) What song makes you happy? iris by the goo goo dolls. well... it makes me happy sometimes. ok, nothing's gonna stop us now by tsl always makes me happy

5) HEIGHT: 5'8''

6) HAIR COLOR: super dark brown

7) EYE COLOR: brown

8) PIERCINGS: one in each ear.

7) TATTOOS: never

8) WHAT YOU WEARING?: sweat pants and a curious george shirt

9) WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: im not. because it's really late and i don't want to wake anyone up

10) WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: haha.... i could say something but it would just sound bad. but its a good taste :)

11) WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: cold.

12) HOW ARE YOU?: exhausted... happy, though

13) GET MOTION SICKNESS? nope

14) HAVE A BAD HABIT?: too many

15) GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: sometimes

16) LIKE TO DRIVE?: yeah. but i have no problem letting someone else do it.

17) BOYFRIEND?: i have many friends that are boys.

18) GIRLFRIEND?: yeah, not so many

19) CHILDREN?: eventually i would like a couple

20) HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE? yes. i'm stubborn like that

21) BEEN HURT?: yeah.

22) YOUR GREATEST REGRET?: not taking advantage of opportunities

23) YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW?: the one in my car has evanescence. no... all american rejects. yeah.

24) IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? red

25) WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? being able to spend time with people i care about, knowing that they care about me, eating, sleeping, getting surprised (but in a good way), driving, God (duh)

26) WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: for myself? i dunno, but i want the jet one

Top seven things you say most: you're my favorite!, jerkface, i hate you, i love you, does that mean you're calling me fat?, just kidding, fine

Do You:
Smoke?: no
Do drugs?: no
Read the newspaper?: sometimes
Pray?: yes
Have a Job: yes
Attend Church: sometimes

Have you ever:
Been in love?: yes
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had a medical emergency?: no (knock on wood)
Had surgery?: yes. i had my wisdom teeth taken out last year
Swam in the dark? at night? yes yes
Been to a Bonfire?: yes
Got Drunk?: no
Ran away from home?: no
Played strip poker?: yes
Gotten beaten up?: no
Been on stage?: yes
Slept outdoors?: yes
Pulled an all nighter?: yes
Been on radio/tv?: i dont think so. unless you count being taped during dance stuff
Been in a mosh-pit?: no
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yes
Describe your first kiss?: um... nice
Wallet?: red, black, and oh yeah it's jenn's
Coffee?: depends on my mood
Cologne/Perfume: i don't wear perfume. or cologne for that matter.

In the last 24 Hours have you....:
Cried: no
Bought something: i dont think so
Gotten sick: hope not
Sang: yeah yeah
Been kissed: im going to say no
Felt stupid: always
Talked to an ex: no
Talked to someone you have a crush on: yes
Missed someone: yes
Hugged someone: yes
Had sex: no
Been told: told what?
Been told youre beautiful: yes
Shoplifted: no

i promised i'd actually write something important down here. wait for it... wait for it....

yeah, no. i'm tired. the past 48 hours have been wonderful. i know i complain a lot, but there's so much more that should make me grateful. and holidays make me realize that even more, i guess. again... im very tired. i'll write something meaningful later.

am i too lost to be saved?

2004-12-15T01:58:27Z

*edit*

i swear this is the most pointless post. so im gonna add another survey.

TEN Random Things About Me
10. i hate being called mel. unless you're josh, mike, afy or geneva
09. i'm obsessively compulsively perfectionistic
08. i frequently make up my own words... like perfectionistic
07. i know how to drive stick
05. i hate to shop
04. i hate smoking
03. i love the rain
02. i love red pepper and pineapples on pizza
01. i don't watch a lot of tv

NINE Places I've Visited
09. new york
08. washington dc
07. mexico
06. canada
05. yosemite
04. las vegas
03. florida
02. chicago
01. san francisco

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die
08. get married
07. have kids
06. find a career i love
05. get an audi
04. find my purpose
03. contribute something lasting to the world
02. live in another location for a while
01. enjoy life to the fullest

SEVEN Ways to win my heart
07. love me for me
06. do the sweet, unexpected things
05. be intelligent
04. listen when i speak
03. know when to be funny and when to be serious
02. hold my hand :)
01. be my friend first

SIX Things I believe in
06. God
05. love
04. people
03. universal stupidity
02. my friends
01. everything happens for a reason

FIVE Things I'm afraid of
05. being alone
04. the future not turning out well
03. clowns
02. porcelain dolls
01. heights

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
04. cell phone
03. books
02. computer
01. pictures

THREE Things I do everyday
03. laugh
02. consume caffiene
01. shower

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
02. clean my room
01. study

ONE Person I want to see right now:
01. oh please... as if you don't already know

soooo... i dont work until sunday. YESSSSSS. i feel so free.

spanish song test tomorrow. gov project tomorrow. part 2 of the calculus test friday. then break. YESSSSSSSSS

i want to see phantom like no other. and maybe blade trinity, too. ocean's 12 was highly disappointing.

i miss.......

this post is so pointless. oh and im going to srhi friday.

*end of edit*

so it's tuesday. guess how many hours i've worked so far this week. .... .. that's right... 24. tuesday and i've already worked for 24 hours. oy >.<

stress stress stress stress stress stress

spanish test was horrible. i could have just walked in and said "hi. can i fail this test please? pretty please?" and saved myself the effort. calc and frankenstien tests tomorrow. oh yesssss....

i haven't had sufficient amounts of sleep this week. so i compensate by drinking insane amounts of drinks like adrenaline, amp, rock star, monster, etc etc. don't drink rock star. it tastes like liquified saw dust. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

FIRSTS
1. First best friend: brittney. she used to live across the street from me
2. First love: JC for life
3. First real kiss: um. summer before soph year?
4. First screen name: haha... i don't even remember. and if you do, spare me the humiliation and pretend you forgot too.
5. First pet: cat (suprise, suprise)
6. First car: my lovely 1998 white jetta gl

LASTS:
1. Last cigarette: never
2. Last kiss: <3
3. Last good cry: umm. last... monday i think
4. Last beverage drank: orange juice
5. Last food consumed: fried rice.
6. Last crush: ian
7. Last phone call: ian

FASHION STUFF:
1. Where are your favorite places to shop: good quesiton
2. Favorite item of clothing: my yellow abercrombie shirt. it's sooo soft

SPECIFICS:
1. Do you do drugs: nope. but i might possibly have an illegal amount of caffiene in my system right now. or i did a few hours ago... i'm feeling a crash coming on
2. What kind of shampoo do you use: whatever's in my shower. ___ likes it. haha.
3. What are you most scared of: uncertain future, things not turning out the way i want/expect them to

FAVORITES:
1. Colors: red
2. Foods: nien gao, pineapple pizza, umm... almost everything
3. Subject in school: right now im liking gov
4. Animals: tiger
5. Sports: DANCE!
6. Movie: ocean's 11, walk to remember, italian job (both)... kill bill's making its way up the list

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Given a bath: to myself...
3. Made yourself throw-up: errrrr iono
4. Skinny dipped: nope
5. Been in love: loving JC now and forever

CURRENT:
1. Clothes: cut-off sweat pants and an old red cross shirt
2. Music: none
3. Make-up: none
4. IMs: jessie... yes... i'm too tired so i'm only talking to one person

LAST PERSON:
2. Hugged: ian
3. Imed: jessie
4. Last person who slept at your house: um. i don't think anyone has slept over since 8th grade or so
5. Last persons house you slept at: kara (from work)

RANDOM:
1. In the morning you are: either dead tired or hyped up on energy drinks
2. Love is: action
3. I dream about: everything

these are the special times

2004-12-10T06:03:53Z

the holiday show was HOTT!!!!!!! thank you to everyone who went... and if you didn't go, i better see you there tomorrow night!!!

lauren and joey are amaaaaaaazing choreographers. :) i love the dance so much.

curling hair is so much harder than it seems. honestly... it took so long to curl my stinking hair! and then it had to go and be asian and straight so i had to drench it in hairspray THEN curl THEN spray again. and the curls still came out a few hours later. bah. and i have splinters from our super ghetto stage.

ahhhh standing in the curtains is always so nerve-wracking. i was so afraid i wouldnt be able to turn, or leap, or kick or anything and i was going to let lauren and joey down and look horrible in front of everyone on the night they were filming. haha... i was so close to losing it backstage... but everything turned out wondefully (except.. haha i walked into joey at the end...)!

tomorrow is december tenth. you know what that means. or at least i do. :)

good mood good mood.

again... COME TO THE HOLIDAY SHOW!